Here is what I wrote in my journal on January 14, 2016. (By the way, I don't actually journal, I just dabble in writing down my feelings every once in awhile. I have always aspired to keep a journal, I envy those who have logged hours of writing.)
Adventures ahead--transitions in all their glory. We are burned out, done in, and numb with the decisions that must be made. Packing up our house to move back to the States on June 14th with NO idea of what's to come. Stressed out in an understatement.
My word for the year is PURSUE.
I will pursue peace, happiness, godliness, truth, contentment, purpose, and family. I'm committed to trusting God in all things. I will put my hope in Him, trusting He will make our way clear or give us the boldness to step out. Waiting to hear from Wheaton Furlough Homes to see if we even have a home next year. Then I focus on packing and finishing the year well.
"When you search for me, then you will find me, if you pursue me with all your heart."
The first semester of school was rough for me, I was getting up at 4:15am every morning and then getting into bed after 11pm. I had so much prep for the classes, on top of just doing the wife and mom thing. Add in the commute and you can see how we were getting overwhelmed with life. How I was getting overwhelmed with life.
But something clicked for me over the summer holiday. Jeff and the younger boys were gone to Arequipa and when it came time for me to choose a word for the year, "pursue" was what stood out to me, based on the verse from Jeremiah 29:13. I needed to be intentional. I needed to pursue, truly pursue the things that were important to me. So I made the decision that I would be done with the late nights, I would give myself a limited time to work on school stuff at home and then be done (even if I wasn't really done). I decided I would start journaling a little, trying to record my thoughts and see how God was working in our lives.
Seeking perspective when you are physically, emotionally, and spiritually exhausted is life changing.